Catatan 1 Oktober

It has been 2 week since that thing happen. Time seems to be moving faster.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Things didn't go quite the way it should.

It keeps on bothering me, and I know it all happen because of me.

I feel really stupid and inadequate all the time.

I'm so freakin confused ! Am I the one who should be apologising?

They're acting very weird lately or I'm the one who's acting weird right now?

I really don't understand. What have I done until she hate me that bad?

She said I treat her like a dumb. I've never think about treating her like that.
She's the most clever student in class. All teacher praise her because she's diligent.
But why did she said I treat her like that? What did I do?

She said everytime she don't understand Add Math question, I ignore her.
What did she expect me to do? She's cleverer than me. I'm dumb.
My Add Math fails, you know? FAILS!
I won't ignore her if I know how to solve the question.

If she's upset about what I did during English class that day [18 Sept]. I'm really sorry.
I only want to joke around with you. I still remember that day.
Teacher ask our class to make essay. She asked me what page I'm referring to write the essay.
But I didn't tell her. As I remember Liyana told her the page that I'm referring to.
But she just ignores what Liyana said

You know what. Teacher didn't say that we can refer to any book.
That time, teacher said only Kalai can refer textbook because when teacher asked us to copy notes for the essay, Kalai is absent.
Teacher asked me. "Nabila, what are you doing? I said only Kalai can refer text book."
My essay are full of kindergarten children's sentences. But hers?
Teacher praise her essay's sentences are bombastic.
Is this how she said I'm clever?

Yes, I admit I was wrong. Nurul Nabila Natasya 'kedekut ilmu' right?

She's mad at me because whenever anyone ask what happened between me and her, I answer 'I dont know' right? What did she expect me to answer?
I can answer their question, but I was worried if I answer wrongly, the situation get even worse.

You said my ego was high. Yes, I know. I'm ice-cold-heartless egomaniacs.
But not until I didn't realize my own fault, other people's fault I aimed.

Aku bukannya kuat sangat. Aku tahu menangis. Aku tahu sakit.

Awak tau sentap, padahal kite cuma nak bergurau.
Kite sentap awak sedar tak?

Setiap kali kalau cikgu tanya jawapan dekat kelas, kite jawab suara pelahan je.
Awak kata. "Cakaplah kuat-kuat. Pink ni memang tau, kedekut ilmu."
Awak tau, kite tak boleh lupa apa yang awak cakap tu.
Tapi kite tertanya-tanya juga kenapa awak boleh pula jawab guna suara pelahan?
Tapi kite tak berani nak tegur sebab kite takut awak kecik hati.

Awak selalu kata kite ni budak hot. Hot tang mana oun kite taktau.
Kite tak suka awak panggil kite budak hot.
Nak bandingkan status kite yang likers tak seberapa tu dengan gambar yang awak sekali upload, berpuluh-puluh orang like. Jauh beza awak.
Setiap hari, sikit-sikit pelan-pelan kite unfriend manusia tak bersalah dekat friendlist kite tu semata-mata taknak awak panggil kite budak hot.

Setiap kali kalau awak buat kite sakit hati, kite tak pernah pun nak dendam dengan awak.
Kite telan je semua walaupun perit sebab awak kawan kite.
Kite diamkan je sebab hati ni dah selalu sangat kena toreh.

Tenanglah wahai hati. Bertahanlah wahai air mata.

Masa Liyana jauhkan diri dari awak, awak salahkan kite, entah apalah yang kite fitnah pasal awak kan.
Tapi awak taktau. Liyana jauhkan diri dari awak sebab awak yang jauhkan diri dari kitorang.
Bila dia cuba tanya awak ni kenapa, awak cakap awak takde pape.

Kite tau, kalau awak jauhkan diri dari kitorang sekalipun, awak pandai cari kawan.
Awak tak akan pernah rasa alone.
Kite suruh Liyana layan je awak macam biasa sebab kite taknak awak fikir kite bukan-bukan.
Sekarang awak dengan Liyana dah bertegur semula. Awak tau? Kite happy untuk korang.

Kite sekarang ni dah macam orang kurang kasih sayang je. Takde kawan pun.
Kite tak macam awak, pandai cari kawan. Kite cuma harapkan Khalida je kawan dengan kte.
Tapi Khalida selalu tak datang sekolah.

Awak nak tunggu kite sedapkan hati awak. Awak nak suruh kite flashback balik apa yang kite dah buat.
Tapi diri awak?

FYI, kite tak akan susahkan hidup orang kalau orang tu tak susahkan hidup kite.

Kalau pasal hall kecik je nak balas macam kite ada buat salah besar.
Tak ada dendam jangan risau. Hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk membenci.

It's sad when the people who gave you the best memories, become a memory.

Haritu kite bagi balik kertas mathematic awak yang kite pegangkan tu, awak tarik muka.
Ya Allah, bencinya awak pada kita.. kan..

p/s : dah kata dah Bahasa Inggeris kite macam budak tadika kan?